PUTTING THE “FUN” IN “FUNDAMENTAL TRANSFORMATION” by T. Edwin Perry
First, allow me to apologize for not posting my reaction to the Overthrow of America prior to this point. As John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.” Well, it has been quite hectic of late, and I’ve got a lot to say, but, let’s face it: I’ve pretty much already said most of it, so let’s try something a little different today.
As you know, the House of Misrepresentatives, as I will now call it, bartered and bribed its way to passing the Senate’s version of the “Healthcare Reform” Bill with a 0.3% majority of votes. (That’s 219 divided by 435 total members. If you want the numbers for the 431 members that actually PARTICIPATED in this vote, that margin of victory climbs all the way up to 0.8%! I guess Barack Obama was right: they really CAN’T “govern with a 50 plus one majority.”) It really makes you wonder how approval polls for Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid can be at 11% and 8%, respectively, right? I mean, with that much support, they should be EXTREMELY popular right now. But, alas, they are not. After pushing and prodding and poking and shouting and accusing and crying and complaining ABOUT THEIR OWN CONSTITUENTS, they finally reached their stated goal: The Fundamental Transformation of America. Well, I say KUDOS to them. They totally succeeded in bringing about BIPARTISAN SUPPORT…unfortunately for them, it was support for the OPPOSITION, but it was, indeed, BIPARTISAN! So, while they’re patting themselves on the back and claiming a great victory at the cost of YOUR Freedom and Liberty, I suggest they enjoy the party, because they are BOTH up for re-election in November and will be seeking new employment come January. (In the words of Donald Trump, “You’re Fired!”)
But that’s not all the news we need to deal with this week. No, folks, it’s that time again to participate in an event TEN YEARS in the making: the Census. Now, the Census is defined and outlined in the body of our Constitution, and is designed to make sure that the number of Misrepresentatives in the House are allocated based upon population. It’s allowed to ask one thing: “How Many People Live in Your House?” Yup, that’s it, folks, but since that doesn’t give our Government enough of the information that they want, they’ve added a couple of questions to the form of what I will forevermore refer to as “The Senseless.”
For the record, I filled mine out. I answered all the questions honestly and I put the form in the mail yesterday. I don’t agree with it, but I did my civic duty. I urge you to do the same. After all, failure to comply with the Senseless can result in fines, jail time and Nancy Pelosi…okay, the last one was a joke, but only a little one. (On a side note, really, can we please put some regulation on how much BOTOX one person can get? Most of the time, she looks like her face is going to split open from chin to forehead revealing some grotesque alien head springing out to suck the brains out of whoever is stupid enough to be standing next to her. (What was that? That IS the grotesque alien head? OK, I’ll take it back.))
Question #1 conforms with the Constitution very well: “How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment or mobile home on April 1, 2010?” Questions 2 – 9, on the other hand, are a little less OK. Question #2 is, “Are there any additional people staying here April 1, 2010 that you did not include in Question 1?” OK, like, visitors? Guests? Illegal immigrants? The question was how any people are living there. If someone comes over for dinner or a sleepover, that doesn’t make them a resident. Therefore, Question #2 is SENSELESS!
Question #3 asks if you own the property, have a mortgage, rent or live there without paying rent. Now, how does this allocate my Misrepresentation in the House? SENSELESS!
Question #4? “What is your telephone number?” SENSELESS!
Question #5? “What is (your) name?” OK, no problem: this is a question that makes sense. After all, we should probably know if the same person registers at more than one address. I mean, there’s only one “John Smith” in the country, right? (Oh, wait, that’s the only identifier? No Social Security Number or Driver’s License Number or other proof of existence? No proof of CITIZENSHIP? SENSELESS!)
Question #6: “What is (your) sex?” Really? Not Gender? Not “Gender Identity?” And, again, how is this relevant to my Misrepresentation? SENSELESS!
Question #7: “What is (your) age and (your) date of birth?” OK, first, if I give you my date of birth, can’t you figure out my age? Second, why do you want my date of birth? How does that ALLOCATE MY MISREPRESENTATION?!!!! SENSELESS!!!
Questions 8 & 9: These deal with my Racial Demographic. Question 8 asks me if I’m of “Hispanic, Latino or Spanish” origin, and then tells me that, for the purpose of this Senseless, this heritage does not count as a race. Of course, they do want me to specify what KIND of Hispanic Heritage I claim. (Puerto Rican, Mexican, Cuban: I just told them I was from South Florida. Just let them TRY to figure it out!) THEN, it asks me in Question 9 if I’m White; or “Black, African American, or Negro”; or a selection of Asian descents. Now, my immediate reaction to the second option is, “WTF?!” (I mean, really, who classifies themselves as “Negro” in this day & age, and isn’t “Black” and “African American” the same thing? What if I’m white from South Africa? Does that make me white or African American?) Lastly, HOW DOES ANY OF THIS ALLOCATE MY MISREPRESENTATION?!!!!! SENSELESS!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, yeah, let’s not forget Question #10: “(Do You) sometimes live or stay somewhere else?” OK, fine: I’ll give them this one. If you go away to school but still TECHNICALLY live with your parents, this one makes sense. If you are in the military and are assigned somewhere else but OFFICIALLY live in the location you are claiming in the Senseless, this works. Other than that: SENSELESS!!!
You get to answer these questions for everyone in your household, along with one more question: “How is (this person) related to (you)?” Like I said: SENSELESS!
For the record, I’m not blaming the Democrats for the Senseless: I’m just calling it as I see it, and that is a SENSELESS Waste of Time! Since eliminating the “Three Fifths” rule from the Constitution with Amendment #14 (1868), basing ANY aspect of a Census on Race is SENSELESS. Since providing equal capitation rights to women with Amendment #19 (1920), basing any aspect of a Census on Gender is SENSELESS!
Oh, and finally, one last topic: Perhaps you will recall that I sent a message to my Misrepresentative, Ron Klein, asking him to oppose the Healthcare Bill. I received his response by e-mail today, in which he essentially told me that, while he understood that I didn’t want him to support the bill, he didn’t really give a damn, not that I’m surprised to hear it. But I now have a new message for Misrepresentative Klein: I hope you will enjoy being UNEMPLOYED in January. May I suggest that you, Nancy and Harry go to Disney World: It’s beautiful that time of year, and you’ll have plenty of time to spend. Of course, your Unemployment Benefits won’t pay for more than one day and a motel room, but you could always apply for a job. Perhaps Pirates of the Caribbean would suit you.
Oh, and since you haven’t served in Congress long enough, you’ll be eligible to pay all those WONDERFUL new taxes and be subject to the OUTSTANDING medical care being offered in your Healthcare Bill! Now that’s what I call “Social Justice!”
And THAT, my friends, is how you put the FUN in “FUNDAMENTAL TRANSFORMATION!”
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